Over the next three days, I was in the hospital, hooked up to an IV drip of Magnesium to try to keep me from having a seizure (a common treatment for preterm preeclampsia). It was probably the loneliest time I have ever experience. Friends came by to visit and Christian did his best to be with me all the while working to prepare potentially for our baby's birth. I set intentions for the month in an attempt to stay positive and focused on my health. I had two sessions of acupuncture through those days but my blood pressure remained pretty high still. I received two shots throughout those three days that I later found out were steroids to ensure the baby's lungs were developed. The second day was a turning point that I was unaware of at the time. There was a snowstorm and that kept the doctors away for much of the day but by the third day, they came to check in on me. With continued rising blood pressure, the doctors had made the decision that if I didn't show improvement the next day, I was going to be induced, but I didn't know that just yet. They asked me to have my husband come to the hospital ASAP. Once he arrived the nurses packed my belonging and said they were moving me to another floor. In my naivety, I assumed they needed my bed for another patient and I was moving to a different floor for longer-term care.
Once arriving at my new room, I noticed a baby cart with a large light overhead. I asked the nurse what was I doing in a delivery room and she said the doctors would be in shortly. After a short but uncomfortable wait, a few Residents came into the room. They said Mrs. Harreveld, we are going to induce you in a few moments. I said to them "excuse me". They said yeah your blood pressure has been too high and it's not sustainable so we are going to induce you. I was shocked, I asked them to give us to the room, and we called our Doula Denise to consult with her. She had a few questions for Christian which he nor I could answer. She advised us to get some background from the doctors on the decisions they were making and more importantly explain to me what was happening to my body. At that point I realized, I had no idea what was happening to my baby as a result of the Preeclampsia. So after lots of questions, I said to them, "No one is touching me until I understand what the hell is going on with my body and why I have to deliver so early". Even though I had done some research on Preeclampsia, I had not done a ton because I didn't want to scare myself, I was reading some pretty heavy stuff including fetal and maternal deaths. They called the doctor on call from my OBGYN's practice and she said down and explained things in layman's terms to me. She informed me that for an unknown amount of time, our baby had not been receiving any nutrients from me as the blood vessels from the placenta had been constricted due to the high blood pressure. There would be no point in keeping me pregnant as our baby would not grow any further. THIS WAS THE FIRST TIME ANYONE HAD EXPLAINED THAT TO ME. I was stunned. I realized the show must go on and that my days of cradling my belly were over. From that moment forward the doctors were very upfront with us, they explained every step and what it would mean.
After 26 hours of labor, Johan Christian Harreveld was born. For the complications of the week, his birth was rather uneventful. I couldn't get out of bed as I was still on magnesium and therefore a fall risk so I had to labor in bed. My doula made that part manageable though. She had me moving all around in that bed. There was HGTV on the tv and the smooth sounds of our favorite R&B tracks playing. I had not learned how to breathe or push before labor so I had to learn that on the fly. There was a nurse from South Carolina and she reminded me how I learned how to swim at South Carolina State University as a small child and to remember what they taught me when you hold your breath underwater then add a push to that until they tell you to stop. That was comforting. Johan came out in three pushes and was rushed to the NICU where he remained for three weeks.
Most folks think well this is a great end to the story, but not quite... I couldn't see Johan for a full 24 hours as my body went off the drip off Magnesium (still a fall risk). So I took the day to rest and try out using a breast pump. Once my 24 hours were up, I wanted to race to see Johan, however, the nurse on duty had decided she wasn't in the mood to take out my catheter. The doctors had already told us we could see Johan day or night anytime, so I couldn't understand why she wouldn't take the catheter out. After a "call to the manager" she took my catheter out, I showered for the first time in three days and raced to meet my boy! Johan was small but perfect. I held him as long as I could!
As the hours after birth passed, my blood pressure still wasn't getting better. The doctors started to get concerned and ran some blood work. My liver was failing and my kidneys were on their way to failure. There was a nurse who came in along with my family to have an "intervention". They all kept saying Kami you have to calm down, your blood pressure is still too high and you will likely die if you don't get it down ASAP. I kept saying and thinking, guys I'm not excited why do you think I can control this. My mom and Christian insisted that I meditate to see if that would help bring down my pressure. Well, that didn't work. To be clear, you can't "calm down" to bring your pressure down. In my case, it was nothing I did or didn't do to create this situation. Over time the doctors realized I needed medication to bring the pressure down which they started me on immediately. After two days my pressure was officially down and I insisted I be released. My pressure was down and I was healing, I was done with hospitals, doctors, nurses, and their lack of communication. My doctor agreed to release me but only if I would follow up with a specialist for Preeclampsia. I complied, saw the specialist, and after weeks of my blood pressure being down, I was able to go off the medication without further complications. I had serious issues with my breast milk supply, only able to pump 4 or 5 ounces per day. Only after much strife and time/money spent on a breastfeeding specialist, I learned that blood pressure medicine takes the fluid out of your body, breast milk is a fluid.
I learned a lot from this experience, below are five (in no order)
You are your best advocate, speak up
Don't allow doctors to make decisions for you, be a part of the decision and course of care. They must explain everything!
If you can afford it, get a Doula, they provide a level of support and guidance that is unparalleled.
Your partner if you have one is your eyes and ears, use them.
Ask for a second opinion if something doesn't feel right or if you just need to hear someone else agree to that treatment of care
Wow, what an event, thank you for sharing your story!